Stupid.

It's been two weeks, and perhaps she ran out of whatever rat poison she's using to secretly and slowly kill her captured and has to drive to the warehouse on the other side of the country to replenish her stock. Who knows? On second thought, far be it for her to make any effort herself - a mysterious package from ACME Poisons Inc. is likely to arrive via company-paid express courier any day now, instead giving her time to, I presume, polish his shackles.

Regardless, she's doing a sterling job of secretly and slowly killing yours truly, through the sheer frustration and simple boredom of covering her pathetic excuse for an existence. No, sorry - the other excuse, the one that doesn't involve being a gold-digging witch (see below).

I heard an interesting fact regarding the aforementioned yesterday, that - for sake of story we shall call him Captured - Captured's family hate her because they think she is after his money, of which he apparently has some. An interesting claim - made more interesting by the fact that they don't just hate her for the sole reason that she is the devil incarnate.

Apparently Cappo's riches are held in a trust, that will be released to him after he reaches a certain age. Explaining why she isn't revelling in the spoils of wealth just yet - evident in the pristinely preserved early 90's artifacts she trots about the office in. And also explaining the need to keep him alive long enough to seal the deal. Considering they aren't married and are apparently little more than housemates, I assume her taking on the role of his carer somehow entitles her to a slice once he drops off the perch. And by drops off the perch I mean she brings out the pillow she has been saving for the fateful day when he doesn't survive his latest stroke.

Now that Cappo is out of hospital, she has taken it to the next level, whereby she herself is ill - allowing her to play the victim once again. What a considerate soul she is, looking after her sick husband/partner/defacto spouse/old friend/distant cousin/long missing, presumed dead insurance salesman. And now, the poor dear, she's ill herself - she has the sniffles and everything, imagine. She really does need those TWO ENTIRE WEEKS off.

Little be it for me to complain, she appears to have pulled off these entirely transparent shows since forever, and isn't likely to be stopped any time soon. So until then I suppose we must all humour her stories of woe and accommodate her whims - that is until the investigation commences. Oh, did I type that? Sorry, I was confusing real life with the real life where evil Munchausen fuckheads get what they deserve.


Rant terminated 11.52.